And now, puppies vs stairs

It's that time again...

Time for inspirational Got Talent Videos!

Fist up, Comedy from an unexpected place:



Enjoy!

Star Wars???

Star Wars.

Stitched Google Street View...

is the coolest thing I've seen all day!



Enjoy!

Calvin and Hobbes...

The Gritty reboot!




Enjoy!

This is fantastic! of the day...

The Villian Medley

...for your listening pleasure!

School of Thrones? School of Thrones.

This one's for Bri!

SNL: Justin Timberlake(3/9)

OMG people, if you missed this episode for whatever reason, go and watch it right now...else you can just check out all the clips I’ll be embedding, because there was a LOT of good tonight.

Let’s jump right in, shall we?


The Good


Monologue(8)-This wasn’t so much a monologue as a ‘look at all the other funny people we can smash into one 5 minute segment,’ but damn it all if it didn’t work really well.  There were some od moments that kind of made me go ‘huh?’ but other that that, it was great.  Oh, and JT totally ragged on the internet: “You get to inevitably let everyone down thanks to overly high expectations...Thanks internet!”  

SNL: Kevin Hart/Macklemore&Ryan Lewis(3/2)

Wow, this episode was literally a snoozefest, as I fell asleep within three sketches. And since I’m a slacker, I didn’t even get back to it until just now.

Let’s jump right into this terrible terrible episode, shall we?

Starting with...

The Meh

Cold Open-Presidential Press Conference(4)-Best line: “I could explain in financial terms, or in human terms, but since I really have no idea about how money works, or budgets works, I’ll go with human terms.”  This was basically the long way to get to a YMCA joke, so there’s that?

Staff Meeting(4): This sketch gets less and less funny every time it is rolled out.  And the host not being able to hold it together at this clearly unfunny sketch made it even worse.

Weekend Update: Segments(6)-Nothing really memorable, but I did get a  few laughs.

The Ugly

Monologue(2): This is where EVERYTHING started to go downhill, since it was probably the worst monologue I’ve seen this season.  Apparently, Kevin Hart is a stand up comedian, but I would never have guessed from his delivery.  It was unfunny and far too mean and yelly to boot.

The Steve Harvey Show(3): The joke is Steve is afraid of horses, or something?  That was an incredibly weak sketch to open the episode with.

The Situation Room(2): Quvenzhane Wallis is the new Pope, for reasons.  It’s about as unfunny as you would guess.

WE Segments(3): From a yelly Bobby Moinahan to a host who still can’t keep a straight face, not to mention be arsed to read the cue card properly, this was so bad it barely deserves to be mentioned.

The Walking Dead(3): Race card obnoxiousness at it’s worst.  TWD doesn’t really appeal to me anyway, but when the writers feel the need to explain the joke during the sketch, it just goes from bad to worse.

Shark Tank(1): I don’t get it

Z-Shirts(1):What?? It’s funny cause the guy was a robot, or something?  Stupid premise for a stupid sketch

Recording Session(3): God, that was terrible.  If it weren’t so spot on to a certain persuasion of people’s actual thinking, it actually would be laughable.

Funeral(1): WTFFF again!

360 News(3): God, the last half of this show was seriously the worst.  This got a slight bump from everyone telling the host he was the worst(not in so many words, of course)

The Rest

As I alluded to in the various segments, Kevin Hart was possibly the worst host this season, rivaling Adam Levine in terribleness.  He yelled all his lines, and didn’t bother to learn any of them, as his blatant cue card reading showed.  He couldn’t even keep himself together in a horribly unfunny sketch, and yet, people in the audience were still laughing.  



Macklemore and Ryan Lewis were fine for what they are, a rapping duo.  Since I’m not to into that kind of music, it was kind of a whatever moment for me.




Though it was interesting during the live broadcast, Macklemore’s microphone didn’t seem to be leveled properly, because I could barely hear him, and the horns were way too dominant in a song that is much more about wordplay than backing tracks.




With an average score of 3, this show is not going to be on the pile of good ones for the season, though we do have JT to look forward to tonight.  Let’s see how this episode stacks up.

1. 11/10 Anne Hathaway/Rihanna (6.60)
2. 12/15 Martin Short/Paul McCartney (5.90)
3. 11/3 Louis CK/fun. (5.89)
4. 11/17 Jeremy Renner/Maroon 5 (5.83)
5. 9/22 Joseph Gordon Levitt/Mumford & Sons (5.71)
6. 9/15 Seth McFarlane/Frank Ocean (5.38)
7. 10/13 Christina Applegate/Passion Pit (5.09)
8. 10/20 Bruno Mars (5)
9. 2/16 Christoph Waltz/Alabama Shakes (5)
10. 2/9 Justin Bieber (4.42)
11. 12/8 Jamie Foxx/Neyo (4.3)
12. 10/6 Daniel Craig/Muse (4)
13. 1/26 Adam Levine/Kendrik Lamar (3.38)
14. 1/19 Jennifer Lawrence/The Lumineers (3)
15. 3/2 Kevin Hart/Macklemore&Ryan Lewis (3)

The Amazing Race: Like James Bond Again(S22E3)

Well, that was a fun little break for me:  it was new nephew weekend, and then I was a major slacker, so expect lots of reviews starting tomorrow, when I have a day off finally.  To start...
 
SO we jump right back in with a recap of Dave’s possible race ending injury.  But first, an overview:  The teams fly out to Christchurch, New Zealand(Phil’s hometown) where the boat out to the detour, a choice between fishing and vintage racecar driving.  The car thing was a bit of a trick, since both team members had to finish a course with a combined time of 83 seconds.  The teams then went to a hillside to participate in a messy obstacle course involving molasses and chicken feathers, ending with a dunk in a manure pond.  Lovely.  They then get to see Phil in all their stinky glory.  I bet Phil felt very lucky to smell that.
 
Bates and Anthony left first, and still didn’t leave much of a mark in my brain, beyond being following followers who follow, all the way to the top of the wrong mountain.  Smooth, guys.
 
Dave and Connor went to the hospital to check out Dave’s ankle, and it turns out he tore both the tendon and the muscle.   They got a boot from a pharmacy, and decided to continue on.  Jessica and Jon did give them the express pass, which was used almost immediately at the detour, since Dave couldn’t drive stick, and neither of them had the patience for fishing.  Connor was able to do the obstacle course, and Dave and Connor came in first.  But will they stay in the race?
 
Jessica and Jon, beyond giving the express pass to the team that posed the least threat to them, were completely forgettable.
 
Joey and Megan were surprisingly competent in everything they did, which surprised me a bit, since I am pretty sure I still hate them.
 
Chuck and Wynona though they were so smart, they took the latest flight out of Bora Bora.  They also were the only team to take the fishing detour, which was finished competently.
 
Mona and Beth apparently were racing, but I have absolutely no recollection of that occuring.
 
Caroline and Jennifer likewise made no impression.
 
Max and Katie are still on my haaaaaaaaate list, but no new reasons this week, luckily for them.
 
Pam and Winnie managed to get into first place for all of five minutes at a bunching point, but when they actually had to navigate themselves, fell down to fifth again.  Other than that, they were another forgettable team.
 
An to end, when Dave and Connor came in first, we learned that we don’t have a pit stop this leg, and everyone is still racing.  Dun dun DUN!

The Funny Stuff: HIMYM(2/25)

Well, that was disappointing.  Tonight, we get recycled plots, and a man-child masquerading as Marshall.
Let’s jump right in, shall we?
 
Lily and Marshall have a big art gallery opening, and Marshal is tres concerned about the lack of food, so he buys a gigantic bag of Skittles(“The last bag your Uncle Marshall would ever buy,” Ted intones ominously).  Marshall then proceeds to sit on several expensive pieces of art, and make terrible puns with artist’s names in the guise of ‘being outgoing.’  This plot was soooo boring.  I don’t even know what to say about it.  And then Marshall dropped his entire bag of Skittles on the floor(one Skittle at a time) during a moment of silence for the artist’s dead grandmother.  Instead of, you know, attempting to assuage the flow of Skittles, Marshall stood there as everyone in the gallery glowered at him for the entire minute it took.  It honestly feels like a character assassination, and for the writers to do that to the best character on the show is just wrong.
 
In other news, Ted and Jeanette are still together, and he put her on his RSVP to Robin and Barney’s wedding invite.  When they break up again(due to a spam e-mail from a girly-sounding spam-bot), Barney decides to help Ted find a new plus one by bringing out the Playbook.
 
“But that was destroyed eight episodes ago,” you may say!  
 
Of course, recycling plot from previous episodes(even if they are from the same season show) is now par for the course, so we get to see playbook antics again, yay.  Barney makes a command center at Ted’s house, and gives Ted an earbud so he can direct all of Ted’s words.  The plays are terrible, as usual, but when Robin comes back and finds the Playbook, Barney has to book it after her to get her back.  The second Barney takes his leave, Jeanette find Ted, and gives him a big...kiss on the lips, so he brings her back to his apartment, intent on getting back together.  It’s too bad, then, that Barney left the Playbook on Ted’s couch.  
 
Which Jeanette finds.  
 
And immediately begins trashing Ted’s apartment again.  Ted ends up on the sidewalk with the gang, and Jeanette threatening to blow up the Playbook with the fireworks she found.  Barney tells her to do it, and the whole thing goes up in flames, and Ted is ready to settle down for realsies, cause all the other times he’s settled down with a long term girlfriend were not him being an anti-commitmentaphobe.
 
Oh, and Barney got Robin back by telling her he’s a lying liar who lies, but he really REALLY loves her, so it’s cool.
 
This episode was kind of the antithesis of funny.  Even the laugh track wasn’t really into it at all.  Even if there are few laughs, a sitcom can be good if it has character development.  It’s too bad that all of the ‘character development’ this episode consisted either of regression(Marshall) or things that have happened a million times before in an ugly new wrapping(Ted, Robin and Barney).  Lily got the shaft, she had no development whatsoever, and she wasn’t even funny.  I just wish I wasn’t so invested in who the mother was, so I could drop this show like it really deserves to be dropped.
 
I got one funny line for you:
 
Ted, on one of Barney’s ‘one rules’: “Lebanese girls sprint to third base, and then stay there?”

As Doug Walker said...

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

This is why our generation is screwy :)

Amazing Race: Loose Lips Sink Ships(S22E2)

Another week, another episode full of whiny teams.  The teams get a major bunch right at the start, when water taxis don’t run in the middle of the night, oddly enough.  They head out to another island, where the teams get a blessing from a priest before collecting scuba gear to do the detour.  The choices are create an underwater picnic with a helmet on, or find two red pearls in a large amount of oysters using swim fins and a snorkel.  The teams then got a map to head to yet another island, where they had to kick a coconut down a track on stilts for the roadblock, before making a mad dash to Phil, who is on yet another portion of the island. 

How did the teams do?  Let’s find out

Jessica and Jon left first, but were quickly gain on by all but the last two teams.  Dave and Connor tried to get the second express pass, but they held it close to their chest, at least for now.  Other than than, these two didn’t leave much of a mark

Bates and Anthony rocked this leg, and managed to come in first, but again, didn’t say anything to really stand out, either.

Dave and Connor made a major error this week-they forgot their scuba gear at the priest island, and had to go back after reaching the detour.  Other than that, they ran a solid leg, and actually managed to pick up a spot in the melee.  But Dave, on the run into the mat, thinks he ruptured his Achilles tendon.  Dun dun DUN!

Pam and Winnie were pretty whiny this leg, even as they didn’t make much of an impression.  They did manage to get completely and utterly lost after the detour, but did it affect their finishing position?

Mona and Beth were a complete and utter non-entity, beyond the fact that they were the first team to choose the picnic detour, and managed to pick up a few places.

Joey and Megan were pretty annoying again today, they were fully obnoxious in how proud of themselves they were in the detour, ‘oh, look at us and how smart we are for thinking of this technique’ that EVERY other team(except one) did too.

Chuck and Wynona were standard middle of the pack fare, though Wynona was a titch insufferable in her whining about being too old for this.  I just wonder what she thought she was getting into, if not a physically taxing game.

Idries and Jamil were fully scared of water AGAIN.  And again, I have to ask what they thought they were getting into.  Have they not seen this show, like at all?  Anyway, they do fine until they get to the detour, where their whole thing unravels.  They blather around for the better part of an hour, attempting to get clams and having to be rescued, before they finally change to the other half of the detour, and finish that relatively quickly.  But did their dithering hurt them?

Max and Katie ran a solid, if unremarkable leg.  It’s almost too bad they had that four hour penalty(beside the fact that I still HAAAAATE them), though it was cut to an hour and a half with the bunching.

Caroline and Jennifer also had a solid leg, and rocked the final challenge, but again, had a four hour penalty that made everything interesting.

Beyond the whining and bunching, this was a solid episode.  The challenges were sufficiently difficult, so that positions were not guaranteed, which was nice.  I also liked that they actually had to navigate themselves around, which always leaves room for extra drama(oh hi, Pam and Winnie!).

Lets see how everyone ended up, shall we?

Finishing Order(Average Place)

1. Bates/Anthony(1.5)

2. Dave/Connor(2.5)

3. Jessica/Jon(2.0)

4. Joey/Megan(5)

5. Chuck/Wynona(6.0)

6. Mona/Beth(5.5)

7. Caroline/Jennifer(8.5)

8. Max/Katie(8.5)

9. Pam/Winnie(6.5)

10. Idres/Jamil(9.0)-Eliminated 

The Funny Stuff: The Middle(2/6,2/13,2/20)

Oops, got a bit of backlog to catch up on…

The Smile(2/6)

Sue has an incredibly crabby teach, the kind who goes off on rants just cause he can, the kind who should really have retired years ago.  Anyway, he tells them to find something they are actually excited about, and make a science experiment around it.  Sue decides to test if smiling is contagious.  After a mid-experiment update in which her teacher is a complete and utter jerk, Sue is more determined than ever in her experiment.

In the end, she wasn’t able to prove her hypothesis, but the paper she wrote put a smile on her teacher’s face(and it actually was a decent paper), so all’s well that ends well, I guess?

Axl is getting bummed, and his parent worried, about not hearing anything from any of the colleges he applied to.  He can’t even get enthused about the prank he and his friends are planning.  Frankie accosts the mailman and everything in hopes of finding a possible lost letter.  But!  Axl chose to get the e-mail notice, and finds out in class that he got in!  After a couple of non-starters attempting to tell his parents at a noisy restaurant, the three of them group hug, and it’s cute.

Later, he and his friends are going to paint the water tower for their prank, but Darren forgot the paint.  As the three friends look over their town, Axl is glad he had his experiences in Orson.

Brick really wants an iPad, and is super obnoxious about it, seeing as Mike is heating up his coffee with a hair dryer.  After an entire month of saying no to getting an iPad, Mike and Frankie realize that Brick is a good kid, and there are tons of cheap ones on eBay and whatnot.  They get him one, and everyone is happy.

This was an ok episode.  Lots of character development, not a lot of laughs.  No funny lines, though

Valentine’s Day IV

Aww, this episode was sweet.

Axl decides he wants to grow his BossCo business, and so has a new plan:  they’ll break up with girlfriends for boyfriends who don’t want to.  They make tons of money, but the girls on the receiving end are not impressed.  The guys, though, start to realize that they are doing a truly terrible thing, but how do they make up for it?

Sue, in trying to avoid thinking about the fact that she doesn’t have a boyfriend, volunteers for clean-up duty at the dance.  That is, until Matt calls, and asks her to the dance!   She’s all excited, but as she’s getting ready, Matt calls, and leaves a message on the answering machine, which Axl and co overhears.  The boys nominate Darren to tell Sue the bad news, and Sue starts to have a breakdown.  But nice guy Darren says that he’ll go with her, and it is about the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  They dance, and talk, and eventually kiss over the garbage can.  Aww!!

Brick makes a really tacky card for Frankie, but she doesn’t save it, and Brick is incensed.  Frankie goes to the OCD neighbor next door, and borrows one of her meticulously organized kid projects, but there’s no way in hell it was made by Brick, as Mike is quick to point out.  Frankie goes to apologize to Brick, but he is having none of it.  That is, until Frankie gives him a cad with a nice note.  Which he promptly throws away.  As you do.

Oh, and Mike accidentally texted a Valentine’s note to an employee instead of Frankie, and his other employees are not impressed.  They all want Mike to call them special, so he finally breaks down and tells them it was for his wife, and not the employee.  All his staff try to therapize him, and it gets into Mike’s head to do something, so he gets her flowers, and tells her…you know.

I was literally awwing through much of this episode.  It was super cute, super fun, and even had some character development, which I’m sure will be completely forgotten next week, but it is a sitcom.

I did get a funny line, which I have meme’d for you:

(Axl just called Sue a cat lady in training)

 

Winners and Losers

And finally, we have the Oscars episode, mandated by ABC for cross-promotion.

Let’s start with…

Brick, who is very excited about his class Chicago trip.  Frankie is terrible apprehensive, seeing as Brick will be alone in Chicago with only the chaperones, and since she won’t be going, she tries to convince Brick not to go.  Brick calms her down and convinces her that he can be responsible in going to Chicago by himself.  But then, Frankie forgets to pick him up at the end, and Brick is pissed.

Axl and Sue have a rather intertwined story this week.  Sue passes Darren in the hall at school, and is her normal self about it, that is: completely awkward.  She wonders if anything is going on between them, and Darren is super cute about the whole thing, though Axl tries to throw a wrench in the budding relationship at every turn.  Beyond the part where he is just trying to get rid of Sue, and has no idea they might like each other.  Darren eventually sings a horrible song that shows Sue how he feels, and it is adorable.   He comes over later to watch the Oscars, and he and Sue flirt like mad men.  Axl slowly catches on to the fact that they like each other, and is not impressed, and tries to forbid them from dating, even going as far as to tell Frankie and Mike, but they are happy for the kids.  And then Sue and Darren are super cute, the end.

Man, I enjoyed the heck out of this episode.  Beyond the shoehorned in Oscar crap, the storytelling was great, and I really like Sue and Darren together, especially since the writers have been building it up for a few episodes already.

I got a funny line for you, too!

Darren, singing to Sue: “It was a moment of bliss, my magical trash can kiss!”

The Funny Stuff: HIMYM(2/18)

Ahh, that was a decent episode.  It was back to classical form: cross-cutting, multiple points of view of the same story, and natural character development.  It was actually pretty incredible, considering the nothing we’ve been getting for the last couple seasons.  Let’s jump right in.

Let’s jump right in to…

Ted’s version

So Ted has a phone message from the Captain(Zoey’s ex-husband), and he immediately starts freaking out, worried that the Captain wants to kill him.  Turns out, Ted, Robin, and Lily went to an art gallery opening, where Lily is worried about embarrassing herself in such a fancy place.  Suddenly, in walks the Captain and his ‘art advisor.’  He asks what Ted and co are doing there, and very rudely interrupts Ted’s explanation to finish Ted’s sentences at every turn.  Ted head-monologues about his rudeness, and then Robin asks what an art consultant does, and Lily explains, while pointing out a painting she likes.  Ted and the Captain make eyes at each other, with the Captain basically threatening to kill Ted, but then he invites them up to his apartment to see a new painting he got.

While in the apartment, Ted plays with an expensive ashtray before the Captain comes in, extolling his love to a mysterious photo.  Ted calls him on the Zoey thing, and the Captain pulls a harpoon gun(!) on him.  Ted calms him down, and then waits until everyone left to look at the picture on the Captain’s desk: turns out it’s someone Ted has been ‘hanging out’ with.  Just then, back in the present, the Captain calls back, and asks Ted for Robin’s number.

This leads us to…

Robin’s version

Robin reminds Ted that he was COMPLETELY toasted the entire time, and is mis-remembering several things, such as…

-Lily wasn’t embarrassed for herself, she was worried Ted was going to make a fool of himself at the hors d’oeuvres table

-The Captain wasn’t rude and threatening, he was helping Ted find words and jovial

-Ted didn’t so much head monologue as say everything he was thinking in an incredibly loud voice

-The Captain hardcore hitting on, and flirting with, Robin

-Ted nearly dropping the very expensive ashtray

-The harpoon gun, which was actually a remote control

We also learn that Robin turned the Captain down gently when he invited her to his room to ‘see’ his new painting.  Robin then calls the Captain, but it turns out he actually thought Robin was Lily, so Robin give him Lily’s number, leading to…

Lily’s version

Turns out, not only was Ted toasted, Robin was smashed on scotch shots.  Lily reminds her that she is ALSO mis-remembering things, like…

-Robin was hitting on the Captain, not the other way around

-The Art consultant being a complete and utter bitch

-Lily saving the ashtray from a clumsy Robin, who really had saved it from Ted

-The picture being of a yacht(with the girl Ted was haning out with as a small ad on the bottom of the yacht picture

-Robin throwing herself at the Captain again in his bedroom

We also learn a couple more things, namely that the Captain disrespected Lily’s enjoyment of art, and she performed some ‘Aldrin Justice’ to teach him a lesson: she took that fancy ashtray.  Lily won’t take it back, but she does break down because she’s despondent that the best days of her life are behind her.  Marshall tells her to follow her dreams, and bring that ashtray back, dammit. 

Lily does, the next day, and the Captain didn’t even realize it was gone.  What he did do, though, was buy that painting Lily liked, and surprise surprise, it appreciated in value immensely.  The Captain asks Lily to be his new art adviser, and she agrees.  Hooray!

This episode wasn’t terribly funny, though it was true to HIMYM form.  I enjoyed it, but didn’t laugh very often.

I did get one funny line for you, though:

Marshal, after Lily confesses to stealing the ashtray, and Barney asks if they are gonna do it: “No, we’re gonna fight…and then maybe do it.”