Another new episode of Glee, and not a whole lot of
consequence happened. We had a whole lot
of Britney Spears for no other reason than to mention the fact that said pop
starlet is on X Factor.
The biggest developments were with Rachel. She moved in with the newly relocated Kurt,
into a gigantic loft 45 minutes outside of the city. Not precisely sure how they plan on paying
for that, but it’s one of the lovely plot holes we see in most comedies on TV,
and in movies for that matter. So,
Rachel is still having issues with her dance teacher, and thus commences
bitching about her to Kurt some more.
Kurt almost immediately recognizes her as a one-time Broadway star that had
a MAJOR breakdown on her very first show, ala Hugh Jackman and the cell phone
incident.
Anyway, Rachel goes to class, and they are learning the tango. None of the boys want to pair with her, and Rachel’s
teacher tells her it’s because she’s “awkward, tentative in [her] body, and [she]
moves like [she’s] ashamed of it.”
Rachel glowers for a bit, and the next we see of her, she has convinced
stalker Brody to help her show Ms. July that she can be sexy…by dancing to the
Brittany song that includes an orange pleather jumpsuit. Tres sexy.
When Ms. July is all condescending, Rachel busts out the whole ‘you’re a
failed wannabe,’ and gets kicked out of class.
Stalker Brody shows up at her apartment later, and tries to
get her to go out with him, but Rachel just indicates the ‘Finn’ in a gigantic
heart painted on the wall. Stalker Brody
then gives the most convincing argument for her to stay the hell away from him
ever: “Any time we talk, I’ll be imagining us kissing.” Seriously dude? The only thing you know about Rachel is her
shower habits…that’s not really a crush worthy thing.
So, to end Rachel’s arc for the evening, she makes up with Ms. July, who really
only picks on her students to get them ready for the harsh realities of Broadway(barf),
and then Rachel *symbolically* paints *symbolically* over the *symbolic* Finn
heart. In case you didn’t catch that,
they were showing Rachel starting to move on from Finn, though I would
understand if you missed the symbolics as the writers were ever so subtle with
them.
In actual glee club news, Brittany S. Pearce is sad. Sue found out about her complete lack of
brain, and has suspended her from the Cheerios indefinitely. Brittany starts in a descent that mirrors the
real Britney’s fall into crazy town, but is pulled out of it by Sam. Apparently, he’s dumb now, which lets him
understand Brittany like no one else. He
uses this understanding to come to the conclusion that Brittany has been faking
the mental breakdown the whole time to stage a glorious comeback. I was all set to laugh in his face, and the
Brittany confirmed his hypothesis.
Because of course. Brittany
manages to convince Sue she’s going to graduate at the end of the year, and she’s
back on the Cheerios with her pony held high.
So basically we had a plot that started and ended within the 44 minute
run time, and will probably never be spoken of again.
I can only hope Brittany will graduate at the
end of this year, because her character’s lack of growth is getting old. Some of her one-liners are hilarious, don’t
get me wrong, but nobody is that dumb all the time. And no, I don’t watch TLC…ever.
And finally, in incredibly boring news, the new ‘bad boy,’ Jake,
is apparently a womanizer, which we know because several of the glee kids chase
him around the school yelling it at him.
I have never seen ‘show, don’t tell,” be more clearly ignored than there…at
least, this season. So Marley is crushing
on him for God knows what reason...oh, he’s an artist, he’s sensitive,
she just knows it. So he defends her
mom, the lunch lady, and they have a nice duet on the bleachers, where she
starts the process of convincing him to join glee club. Puck finishes the job, and we have a new
member. And Marley’s all happy until he
spills that he’s now dating bitchy cheerleader.
So apparently, we have seen the set up for the first third of the season’s
conflict: we have a new Rachel/Finn
dynamic…joy.
This episode was kind of crap. Nothing of consequence happened, or at least,
nothing that needed to take up an entire episode. Theme episodes only work if you haven’t
already tapped all the good material, SHOW.
Grade: F-, to match Brittany’s math test grade.
Featuring:
“Hold It Against Me” as sung by Brittany with Cheerios
backup
“Boys/Boyfriend” mashup as sung by Blaine and Artie (Is Boyfriend the Beebs song? cause if so: no link for you!)
“Womanizer” as sung by Unique, Tina, and Marley
“3” as sung by Jason, Tina, and Sam
“(Drive Me) Crazy/Crazy” mashup by Jake and Marley
“Oops…” as sung by Rachel with dance assist from her dance
class
“Gimme More” as sung by Brittany & chorus
“Everytime” by Marley
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