Thursday is so going to be my favorite night of the week,
despite the fact that I have a total of three and a half hours of TV watching
to go through.
Let’s get right into it, since there are so many.
30 Rock
This show is great.
It’s full of absurdist humor that gets even better on the second
viewing. The plot is there, but
secondary, so I’ll go through it, then hit up the litany of funny lines.
The show is back from hiatus, and Jack is throwing everything
and the kitchen sink at the airwaves in hopes of getting Hank Hooper to leave
the company to him when he retires. They
are mostly terrible show, and Liz realizes he is trying to tank the network to
build get Hank to sell the network to his investor that will keep Jack in
charge.
This segues into Liz’s A story, where she is trying to get
out of being Jenna’s maid of honor in her crazy-pants wedding. She realizes she should tank her responsibilities
as maid of honor from Jack’s tanking of the network.
And in other stories, Kenneth and Hazel are dating, and are
super creepy. That’s about it. On to the funny lines!
Jack, to Liz: “Glad to be back in the greatest city on
earth, despite our tiny, un-American sodas”
Jack, regarding his summer activities: “Liddy won the bronze
at Baby Olympics in Horsey-Jumpy”
Jack, after hearing another terrible show idea: “Jonathan,
bring me my green light!”
Liz and Jenna, after Jenna dumped a box of dead doves on
Lutz: “Did you kill those doves?!” *Sarc* “No, I bought them at the dead dove store”
Frank and Jack, discussing a possible new show: “Can I have
a hot wife?” “If you gain 50 pounds”
Tracey to Hazel, who just said something French: “How nice
to hear a lady speak the language of the Nazi’s most enthusiastic
collaborators!”
Tracey, having a startling revelation: “I’m a father of
three, married for 22 years, and I run my own business…oh my God, I’m the most
stable adult here!”
Liz and Jack, discussing how long Jack has been attempting
to tank the network: “So how long has this been going on? Seven or eight years?” “Six weeks.”
Liz to Jenna when telling her about her bachelorette party: “It’s
a surprise…and there’s nothing worse than a surprise Lemon party”
Tracy, regarding his ‘gifts’: “It’s a blessing and a purse”
Up all Night
Chris and Reagan’s TV break, and they have to eat at the
table like savages. When they have
absolutely nothing to say to each other, they just stare at each other
awkwardly, saying how they should totally do this more often.
Reagan complains to Ava, and she suggests topic cards for
the next meal, which Reagan uses, much to the chagrin of Chris. They have an actual conversation, and get all
hot and heavy, and move to the backyard, until Chris freaks out about the
neighbors possibly hearing. He manages
to insult Reagan, and to make it up to her, signs them up for trapeze lessons,
which was one of Reagan’s childhood dreams.
They get to the trapeze place, and get the standard
waiver. Of course, they completely freak
out, and even though they make it to the top of the tower, neither one can
manage to do the actual swing, and they have to be lowered down, much to their dismay
“We’re still the coolest couple ever, swearsies!”
Later, Reagan is making noises, and Chris is in the bushes
making sure the neighbors can’t hear them, even though the neighbor were
clearly heard on the previous night, so whatevs.
In Ava news, she is on the verge of becoming a hoarder, and
Reagan’s brother offers to help her sell her crap on Craigslist. After selling one thing slowly, Ava decided
they need to sell things faster, and they set up a garage sale. Ava goes on a giving things away binge to Rachel
Dratch(!), and gives away a mug she regrets.
Reagan’s brother shows her she doesn’t need to give away everything,
since they have good memories too.
This episode wasn’t quite as strong as normal, the
characters regressed for the sake of the plot, not for character
development. Still, there were some good
one-liners, and I was amused through much of the show.
Quotes!
Reagan, after Ava had an idea: “Darn, you’re brilliant when
you’re day drunk”
Ava, after slowly selling one thing to one person: “I just
wish there was a way to sell a bunch of stuff to a bunch of people at the same
time…ooo, we could open a Marshalls!
The Office
The cold open was brilliant tonight. Dwight is sitting at his desk, when Jim comes
in. Except, it’s not Jim, it’s a random
Asian guy. Dwight is thoroughly confused,
because ‘you’re not Jim, identity theft is a crime!’ Pam even kisses the fake Jim, and Dwight
pulls the family portrait saying “This is Jim!”
but the picture is of the fake Jim with Pam and vaguely Asian
children. Turns out Jim has a dentist
appointment, and an actor friend. Worth
it for the Dwight freakout alone.
In episode plot proper, Andy is told by Nellie that he is
related to Michelle Obama. This, of
course, gets Oscar’s panties in a twist, and he starts spreading around the
office that Andy’s family owned slaves. Because that is the first thing a person’s brain goes to when something like
that comes out.
Anyway, he spends the rest of the episode first trying to
say that there was no way, and when it turns out his family merely transported slaves(so much better,
right?), he asks Nellie to find out if anyone else is related to someone embarrassing.
During this whole debacle, Pam is giving Nellie a refresher
on driving over lunch, and finds out she made the whole thing up. And suddenly, Pam likes Nellie. Though, I guess, her little prank was pretty
epic. Anyway, Pam and Nellie come up
with several other famous people that others could be related to. They also talk about Pam’s artistic
ambitions, and Angela’s crazy-pants ideas for children’s room mural
requirements(Clothing NOT optional for all animals).
To end, Darrell gets pissed at Andy for ignoring his
productivity suggestions, and storms out to the warehouse, where Jim
follows. Jim tells Darrell, in a
roundabout way, about his on-the-side business, and Darrell is completely on
board to go with, assuming Pam is supportive.
Which, whoops, Jim still hasn’t told her, so it’s not real, per Darrell
and the whole world. Pam and Nellie walk
in at just that moment, and Jim decides to tell her then.
Nellie has convinced herself, and nearly Pam, that Jim is
cheating, so she and Darrell wait anxiously outside the soundproof room. They see Jim and Pam hug, and Nellie is mad,
since she thought they were going to break up.
Anyway, Pam talking heads that she is weirded out/confused about Jim not
telling her, and scene.
This was a decent episode, the character development for
Pam, Nellie, Jim and Darrell was strong, and shows good promise for future development
as well. The other story was pretty lame,
but there were some good lines here and there.
Quotes!
Erin as she talking heads about having to impress Andy’s
family: “What is your stance on politics?
What is the best war to do?”
Darrell, in full life hack mode by pre-taping reactions: “Whoa,
that person has really gotten themselves into quite a predicament”
Parks and Rec
The main plot of this episode was not really strong, but the
b- and c- plots were great, so the evening ended on a high note.
In the main story, Leslie is settling into her new role, and
is putting forth another new bill, one that will keep the municipal pool open
longer. There are a lot of cute children
involved, and the porpoise call nearly saved it, but a half naked man on the
toilet put a permanent pall on the whole thing.
That half-naked man is also a councilman, but he’s a LOT skeezy. He wants Leslie’s office, and changes his
vote to ‘no’ until Leslie switches with him.
She first tries to get one of the other councilmembers to change his
vote, but he’s a doddering old man, and couldn’t understand the concept at all.
Leslie finally decides that she will just give up her office
in return for the vote, and it was about as lame as you would expect.
In b-plot land, Chris has decided to implement a 311 line
that the parks department will run, helping citizens with questions they may
have about their government. There were
several quality moments in this plot, like when Jerry accidentally got a 911
call instead. But the main action dealt
with Ron, who was dealing with an increasing agitated Diana, who has a pot hole
that the road people haven’t been fixing.
Ron recruits Andy to help him, and they go out to fix said hole.
When they get there, there are two cute little girls dressed
as princesses, and Andy dispatches of them in short order. And by that, I mean they cosigned him into their
princess playtime. Ron goes about fixing
the pothole, and Diana, played by Lucy Lawless, is totally into Ron, after he
demonstrates his competence. When they
get back to the office, Diane shows up to ask Ron out, mostly because Andy left
her a note saying Ron liked her. So
cute.
And in Washington D.C. Ben and April decide to go on a road
trip, but are blocked into the parking ramp by a presidential motorcade for
HOURS. Typical. They bond, and it is super fun. First, they listen to Ben’s ‘Benji’s Cool
Times Summer Jamz’ mix CD, then they read Ben’s Star Trek fanfic. It is about as awkward and glorious as you
can imagine.
And now, quotes!
Leslie, while giving her office tour to Ben: “I have my own
private bathroom!” “Occupied!”
Chris, giving himself encouragement: “Thank you chris! You’re welcome chris! I sound insane…I’m going to call my therapist”
April asking Ben if he is busy: “And writing star trek fan
fic doesn’t count” “ha ha ha…I…finished
it last week”
Ben, regarding April being the little sister he never had: “Because
the little sister I do have is normal…and not terrifying”
Andy discussing Ron/Diane: “Ron and Diane sitting in a tree,
k-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i…Hey, did you hear that bird?”
Andy, when Ron wants him to help filling the pothole: “For
the last time, it’s Princess Rainbow Sparkle!”
Ron and Chris, discussing why Diane is at city Hall: “I
fixed her pothole.” “Is that a euphemism?”
“No.”
“Then great job!”
Big Bang Theory
I think I’m going to break up with this show. This episode was terrible, and the laugh
track was incredibly intrusive. I cannot
wait for Community to come back. For a
show supposedly about nerds, Big Bang fails at respecting it’s audience at
all.
Or maybe, it does respect it’s audience, one that isn’t
nerdy at all, and just want to laugh at people that actually have half a brain.
To conclude: Big Bang
Theory, it’s not me, it’s you, and you can suck it.
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