Well, that was a thing.
An episode full of horse hooey, with only a bit of goodness thrown in as
an afterthought.
None of the acts were really ready to be on the stage like
this, they all really could have used a second look before tonight.
But anyway, let’s get on with this thing.
Clint Carvalho and
his extreme parrots were laughable.
This guy called his parrot over a walky-talky, and, after the slow
assistant finally let the bird out of the cage, it flew to him. And that was his act. In my notes, I have “that was lame.” Really, that’s about all I can say about
it. I’ve seen more impressive birds at
the zoo bird show.
Reverse Order, a
boy band that thought they could be all punk and whatnot, couldn’t. They sang Katy Perry for God’s sake! I’m not really sure if they got the point of
the song, either…I Kissed a Girl is not so scandalous when you’re a boy singing
middlingly to poorly. On the plus side,
they were decent instrumentalists, so they have that.
If you are going to claim a friendship with Marilyn Manson,
as magician Rudy Coby did, you
really need to step up the weird, make it crazy. He did not.
The dancing puppet was cheap looking, the switch was obvious, and the
middle section dragged on for approximately ten years, which is amazing
considering they get 90 seconds. If it
takes you that long to change costumes, you’re doing it wrong.
7 in Unison is
another teen dance crew. Their routine
was boring, small, and too slow for the big stage. It was also a bit squicky, these girls were
dancing “sexily” to Fever, and their bodies were not sexy. That’s not to say they looked bad, but their bodies
were too juvenile for this act to stick.
Drew Erwin was a
very smiley boy. Too bad he sang Torn,
which is not a song you should sing while grinning the whole time. “I’m cold
and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor” does not make me think of puppies
and rainbows, is what I’m saying. His
voice was decent to good, but he did the cardinal sin of gender changing the
lyrics. I HATE HATE HATE it when people
do that. If you are so uncomfortable
with the original version of the song, maybe you shouldn’t be singing it in the
first place.
Melinda Hill had
a good start. Her first couple of jokes
were good, even with the terribly stilted delivery. But it all went downhill from there. The stiltedness became even more pronounced,
and she was snickering at her own jokes, which tells me she didn’t have someone
look over it for her, helping her with the editing and whatnot, which was
clearly needed.
Next, we had a kids show performer, Eric Buss. He set off snakes
in a can to classical music in tails. It
was about as dumb as it sounds. I don’t
actually know if he is a kid’s show performer, but that’s probably where he
should go, if he’s not there already.
Romeo Dance Cheetah…no. just no.
Puck is a cruise
ship magician, and it shows. He did an
intimate act that I’m sure plays well on a ship, but it was really too small
for the AGT stage. He was the first
glimmer tonight, though, and the trick was neat, if slightly obvious.
Bria Kelly sang
to the audience that I know puts through most of the votes. She sang a country
song, and really got overpowered by the production. The flashing lights and moving band really
took the attention off of her, which was too bad, because I think her voice was
decent.
Cast in Bronze is
a kook, plain and simple. He played
bells, poorly, and in a crazy shroud/mask combo that was really
off-putting. I still haven’t figured out
why he went with Christmas music in August, that was the fourth or fifth
strangest thing about his act.
Finally, we had Academy
of Villains, who performed well, comparatively speaking. Assuming they get through, they will be
crying for a different reason in the semi’s, when they are thoroughly stomped
by the five or six other dance crews that are superior to them.
And that was the whole show, a lot of cannon fodder for the
semi-finals, which none of the four acts through tonight are making it
past. Next week we have judge’s choice, so
probably another week full of acts that have no right moving on again. Lame.
My shoulds and wills are the same this week, so I’ll just
list them out together:
Academy of Villains
Bria Kelly
Puck
Drew Erwin
Tune in tomorrow to see how I did!
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