Another new episode of Glee, and not a whole lot of consequence happened. We had a whole lot of Britney Spears for no other reason than to mention the fact that said pop starlet is on X Factor.
The biggest developments were with Rachel. She moved in with the newly relocated Kurt, into a gigantic loft 45 minutes outside of the city. Not precisely sure how they plan on paying for that, but it’s one of the lovely plot holes we see in most comedies on TV, and in movies for that matter. So, Rachel is still having issues with her dance teacher, and thus commences bitching about her to Kurt some more. Kurt almost immediately recognizes her as a one-time Broadway star that had a MAJOR breakdown on her very first show, ala Hugh Jackman and the cell phone incident.
Anyway, Rachel goes to class, and they are learning the tango. None of the boys want to pair with her, and Rachel’s teacher tells her it’s because she’s “awkward, tentative in [her] body, and [she] moves like [she’s] ashamed of it.” Rachel glowers for a bit, and the next we see of her, she has convinced stalker Brody to help her show Ms. July that she can be sexy…by dancing to the Brittany song that includes an orange pleather jumpsuit. Tres sexy. When Ms. July is all condescending, Rachel busts out the whole ‘you’re a failed wannabe,’ and gets kicked out of class.
Stalker Brody shows up at her apartment later, and tries to get her to go out with him, but Rachel just indicates the ‘Finn’ in a gigantic heart painted on the wall. Stalker Brody then gives the most convincing argument for her to stay the hell away from him ever: “Any time we talk, I’ll be imagining us kissing.” Seriously dude? The only thing you know about Rachel is her shower habits…that’s not really a crush worthy thing.
So, to end Rachel’s arc for the evening, she makes up with Ms. July, who really only picks on her students to get them ready for the harsh realities of Broadway(barf), and then Rachel *symbolically* paints *symbolically* over the *symbolic* Finn heart. In case you didn’t catch that, they were showing Rachel starting to move on from Finn, though I would understand if you missed the symbolics as the writers were ever so subtle with them.
In actual glee club news, Brittany S. Pearce is sad. Sue found out about her complete lack of brain, and has suspended her from the Cheerios indefinitely. Brittany starts in a descent that mirrors the real Britney’s fall into crazy town, but is pulled out of it by Sam. Apparently, he’s dumb now, which lets him understand Brittany like no one else. He uses this understanding to come to the conclusion that Brittany has been faking the mental breakdown the whole time to stage a glorious comeback. I was all set to laugh in his face, and the Brittany confirmed his hypothesis. Because of course. Brittany manages to convince Sue she’s going to graduate at the end of the year, and she’s back on the Cheerios with her pony held high. So basically we had a plot that started and ended within the 44 minute run time, and will probably never be spoken of again.
I can only hope Brittany will graduate at the end of this year, because her character’s lack of growth is getting old. Some of her one-liners are hilarious, don’t get me wrong, but nobody is that dumb all the time. And no, I don’t watch TLC…ever.
And finally, in incredibly boring news, the new ‘bad boy,’ Jake, is apparently a womanizer, which we know because several of the glee kids chase him around the school yelling it at him. I have never seen ‘show, don’t tell,” be more clearly ignored than there…at least, this season. So Marley is crushing on him for God knows what reason...oh, he’s an artist, he’s sensitive, she just knows it. So he defends her mom, the lunch lady, and they have a nice duet on the bleachers, where she starts the process of convincing him to join glee club. Puck finishes the job, and we have a new member. And Marley’s all happy until he spills that he’s now dating bitchy cheerleader. So apparently, we have seen the set up for the first third of the season’s conflict: we have a new Rachel/Finn dynamic…joy.
This episode was kind of crap. Nothing of consequence happened, or at least, nothing that needed to take up an entire episode. Theme episodes only work if you haven’t already tapped all the good material, SHOW.
Grade: F-, to match Brittany’s math test grade.
“Hold It Against Me” as sung by Brittany with Cheerios backup
“Boys/Boyfriend” mashup as sung by Blaine and Artie (Is Boyfriend the Beebs song? cause if so: no link for you!)
“Womanizer” as sung by Unique, Tina, and Marley
“3” as sung by Jason, Tina, and Sam
“Oops…” as sung by Rachel with dance assist from her dance class
“Gimme More” as sung by Brittany & chorus
“Everytime” by Marley