And we’re back with a new season of Glee!
So, a bunch of things happened off screen, over the summer: Rachel started getting acclimated to New York, Sue had her baby, a bunch of people left, and Rachel is in New York, if you hadn’t heard.
So we find out that Rachel is still at Nyata, starting classes and whatnot. Her teacher, played by Kate Hudson, is a raging beeotch, but Rachel deserves it for being a pretentious know-it-all, so it’s pretty fun to watch.
Throughout the episode, she calls Kurt to let him know how she’s doing, and she lies through her teeth about how she’s doing fine. Kurt, on the other hand, is pretty much a mess, and not afraid to let it all hang out. He is still in Lima, working at the Lima Bean, and basically pretending he isn’t like the creepy stoner that hangs around the high school after they have no business being there ever again. He sits in on auditions, he rearranges sheet music(which, what? I didn’t realize the glee kids needed silly things like sheet music, when they can pull musical numbers out their butts at the drop of a hat), and he is generally a creeper.
Blaine manages to talk some sense into him by the end of the episode, though, and convinces Kurt to go to New York anyway, cause that always works out so well for the short non-blond gay kids with hopes of an acting career. So Kurt goes to New York just in time to find Rachel completely breaking down, which, whatever. I’m kind of over the non-high school kids, this show should be focused on the high school glee club, not annoying alumni.
So, to get back to the kids in the ACTUAL glee club, Unique from last season has decided to transfer to McKinley because it celebrates diversity or whatever. Tell that to the slushied kids from the last three years, not to mention the whole Kurt/Karofski drama. The returning members decide, after Mr. Shue explicitly tells them not to, that they need to figure out who the new Rachel is. In order to do this, the worst possible scenario is concocted: the four contenders(Blaine, Tina, Unique, and Britany(??)) sing Call Me Maybe as a group, because that somehow helps finding the strongest singer? I don’t know, the logic is weak in this one.
Anyway, Artie is judging the contest, and in the end, decides Blaine should be the new Rachel, because that was definitely worth ten minutes of my time.
And, as if we didn’t have a plethora of plot already, we had to fit in the origins for the two new members of glee. So, we have Marley, who has a great voice, and a mother who is a lunch lady. Apparently, this makes Marley wholly unlikeable, for reasons I cannot fathom. I’m pretty sure having your mom as the lunch lady would be the best thing ever, least of all for the free food you could get. But the heartache is compounded with the fact that her mom is overweight, and all the other kids make fun of her mom for it. Have we learned nothing from Kathy Klein, Glee kids? It was a thing, on the internet, which I know exists in your world, maybe you should look it up?(Yes, I’m talking to fictional characters. Shut up.) Anyway, she’s also *gasp*poor, and her mom sews designer tags onto Walmart clothes, and Sam totally calls her out on it, which, how did he even know that? Does he go looking down random girls’(that he JUST met) shirts? Cause if so, what a perv.
Anyway, it all culminates with the glee kids getting all high up on their ‘we’re popular’ horse and making fun of Marly’s mom as well, and Marly (rightly) flips out on them. And then, big apology scene, directly to Marly singing Adele to the rest of the club’s backing.
And in our final plot outing of the evening, Jake, just Jake, auditions, and does so very well. But Mr. Shue cuts him off after about thirty seconds, and Jake flips out, not understanding that that is how auditions work: directors don’t need to see three full minutes of singing to know if someone is good or not. And then: PLOT TWIST! Jake is Puck’s half-brother, and Mr. Shue wants to give him a chance anyway, if he gets rid of the chip on his shoulder. Jake’s like, “No! I like chips on my shoulder!” Yes, you can imagine that in the most annoying voice possible, cause it came off terribly. But you know he’s eventually gonna be a part of the club since he watches wistfully in the background during a performance and is all sad face and whatnot.
And that was the episode. It was kind of weak for a season opener, and focused way too much on Kirk and Rachel for a show about a HIGH SCHOOL glee club, but I guess they can’t get rid of the most popular players. It was middling to okay for me, I give it a strong C.
‘Call Me Maybe’ as sung by Blaine, Tina, Unique and Britany
‘Never Say Never’ as sung by Jake Puckerman(Not the bieber song, btw)
‘Empire State of Mind’ as sung by Rachel and Marly
‘It’s Time’ as sung by Blaine
‘Chasing Pavements’ as sung by Marly w/chorus