This was such a train wreck, so lets jump right in, shall we?
Apparently, Rachel has been a royal pain in the ass, and Kurt is not impressed. She’s become quite the diva with a bunch of hangers-on, and Kurt is laying out the facts: he threw the high ‘F’ in Defying Gravity two years ago, and he could beat Rachel in a sing-off easily. Rachel doesn’t believe him, but Kurt calls her out to Midnight Madness sing-off, which she reluctantly accepts. At the sing-off, they sing a song from Les Mis, and Rachel clearly sings better, but because this show needed to shove morals or some such crap down everyone’s throat, Kurt is determined to be the winner, ostensibly because Les Mis is Kurt’s thing, but actually because reasons. Rachel goes into a full on meltdown, and decides to forgo the Funny Girl open call that she has been obsessing over for the last…20 minutes. Kurt, of course, talks her down from the metaphorical cliff she was about to swan dive off of, and she and Kurt are besties again. And then walks in Santana. But I’ll get to that in just a bit.
Back in Lima, Finn is worried about the fight in the kids’ hearts, telling Emma that none of them want it as bad as Rachel, Mercedes, or even Kurt did. She suggests they have a diva-off, and Finn thinks that’s a great idea, and brings it right to the kids. All the usual suspects(Unique, Brit, Tina, and Blaine) start trash talking, all going into their best diva poses on a cat walk while singing about divas.
Blaine, in his attempt to prove guys can be divas too, starts the competition with a little Queen, and then Finn brings Santana in to show everyone how it’s done. Tina is all pissy for two reasons: 1) she’s worried Santana is going to show her up again, and b) she’s still lusting after the clearly oblivious Blaine. After a night of going over which song to sing with Blaine, Tina comes up with the perfect plan: first, she’s going to have a cuddle session with an unconscious Blaine(knocked out by cold medicine, natch), then she’s going to sing about how she’s totes not hung up on Blaine at all, no siree. Of course, Blaine gets some sort of hint, though it’s not clear if he understands the extent of Tina’s little infatuation, and apologizes to Tina. And then, he asks her to be his plus one to Shue’s wedding. Nice job leading her on, there, you ‘gold star gay,’ you.
In incredibly creepy news, Emma is in full wedding planning mania. Ok, that’s not actually the creepy part, but I’m getting there, I promise. Finn helps her pick out a centerpiece, and calms her down a bit. But of course, Will says they are ‘fine,’ which sends Emma into a OCD-fueled mania, with crying and destroying of many MANY centerpieces. Finn comes into her office mid-hysterical outburst, and his obvious first instinct is to stick his tongue down her throat. As you do. We awkward for a bit more, and then we are done with the story assumedly until next week, when the whole thing with come out in a massive explosion during the wedding.
Lastly, we had a bit of Brit/Santana drama. Turns out little Miss Santana has dropped out of Louisville University, fully intent on getting back together with Brittany. Santana and Sam sing it out a bunch as she tries to assert her dominance, but once again, Brit is the voice of reason, and tells Santana to get her butt out of Lima and to a place where people will enjoy her abrasive personality. So of course, she heads to NYC to live with Rachel and Kurt. Though it’s not like the whole group isn’t going to be back in Lima next week for the wedding, so whatevs.
This episode was pretty terrible. The main arc had not one, not two, but THREE stories that will go absolutely nowhere: Tina’s not gonna get a solo, nor a Blaine, and Brit and Sam aren’t gonna break up anytime soon, so that was all pointless. Finn, a barely graduated CHILD kissing Emma, who was, six months ago, an authority figure can only lead to bad things, and Santana in NY was something that should have happened a long time ago. Filler episode is filler, and annoying.
“Diva” as sung by Brit, Unique, and Tina with backup from Blaine and Kitty
“Don’t Stop Me Now” as sung by Blaine
“Nutbush City Limits” as sung by Santana
“Make No Mistake, He’s Mine” as sung by Santana and Sam
“Bring Him Home” as sung by Rachel and Kurt
“Hung Up” as sung by Tina
“Girl on Fire” as sung by Santana