None, surprisingly enough
Cold Open: Superbol Blackout(5)-They hit the standard beats of “oh, we have nothing to talk about,” but they did take it up a notch with Keenan’s character talking about how he never even watches 2 Broke Girls, which did get a giggle out of me.
Monologue(4)-My prediction of when the singing will start: 30 seconds in. Pretty sure he actually started singing the second he walked on stage. It was almost amusing how he failed at black history month facts, but then he kept hitting on girls, and his little fan club kept squealing, and it went south again.
The Californians(5)-This sketch was old the first time it aired, but it was nearly saved by the Biebs’ runaway character, and bumped up a few points for the reaction shot times six that Bill Hader had to endure at the end there.
Bieber Doubles(6)- I have one bit of transcript for you:
[Jason Sudekis introduces JB to his body doubles]
JB: “Two of them are black! They aren’t fooling anyone!
Jason: “Yeah, well neither are you, homie”
Bravo Spinoffs(4)-Some of them were mildly amusing, but it went on for literally a million years, as per usual for SNL
Weekend Update: Headlines(5)-It was literally right down the middle on this one, and a week later, I don’t even remember any of the jokes.
Weekend Update: Segments(5)-They had the played out best friends, who were besties with Richard the III apparently, and it was not very good. The one black guy in every commercial was pretty funny, but seemed ill prepared.
Miley Cyrus Show(4)-Glad this sketch has been moved from the post-monologue position, and the later spot led to lesser expectations, but I still didn’t get a whole lot out of this sketch. Though “So that hurt a lot” after Miley practically got a book tattooed on her back made me giggle a bit.
Meet the family(5)-Taran Killan was doing his best to make JB break, and he succeeded. The sketch, on the other hand? Not great.
Valentine’s Dance(4)-I do not understand these sketches. The impression veers into the mean category, and the supporting characters are rarely funny or even vaguely amusing.
High School Love(3)-The joke was that the Biebs was 11. Cause that’s not gross or anything.
Valentine’s Message(3)-So gross, and not even remotely funny.
I was pleasantly surprised at Justin’s willingness to make fun of himself, but the fact that the body doubles sketch isn’t available anywhere makes me think that he wasn’t as into it as he was pretending.
The music was ugh, as per expected, since JBiebs sings terrible songs.
Overall, this episode exceeded expectations. However, when the expectations are as low as mine were, that is not saying much at all. Let’s see how this show ranks, with an average score of 4.42.
1. 11/10 Anne Hathaway/Rihanna(6.60)
2. 12/15 Martin Short/Paul McCartney(5.90)
3. 11/3 Louis CK/fun. (5.89)
4. 11/17 Jeremy Renner/Maroon 5(5.83)
5. 9/22 Joseph Gordon Levitt/Mumford & Sons (5.71)
6. 9/15 Seth McFarlane/Frank Ocean (5.38)
7. 10/13 Christina Applegate/Passion Pit (5.09)
8. 10/20 Bruno Mars (5)
9. 2/9 Justin Bieber(4.42)
10. 12/8 Jamie Foxx/Neyo(4.3)
11. 10/6 Daniel Craig/Muse (4)
12. 1/26 Adam Levine/Kendrik Lamar(3.38)
13. 1/19 Jennifer Lawrence/The Lumineers(3)