Ooooh, this episode was anger-inducing. Apparently, just about everything that has been setting up since SEASON 3 is completely irrelevant. Let jump right in.
Will and Emma are getting married finally, except oops, Emma’s freaking out over that kiss with Finn last week. After an incredibly awkward meeting where Emma is obsessing, first over the seating chart, and then over the kiss, emphatically tells Finn that Will is never to know about their kiss. Of course, Will walks in about two seconds later, so more awkwardness ensues.
After a shoehorned in moment where Shue asks the kids to sing at the wedding, we’re there! Will’s all excited at the front of the church, while Emma is quietly freaking out(again) in the bridal boudoir. When Sue walks in in a dress identical to hers, Emma finishes her freakout by running away. And so there is no wedding today. But we do get a party, thanks to Emma’s parents, who paid for the whole thing already anyway.
In other news…
Artie meets bitchy Betty, also in a chair, and originally from the Glee Project. After an annoying set-up(I like you because you hate me!), they dance, and then have sex.
Rachel and Finn spend a lot of time talking, with Rachel trying to counsel Finn on moving on, but he shoots her down: “Not everything revolves around you, Rachel.” Finn is still feeling like an ass, so Rachel comforts him some more, and offers to duet with him on the song he promised Shue he’d sing. They duet, and hold hands, and then they have sex.
Marley and Jake are getting all up in the relationship business; Marley has gotten Jake cufflinks she repurposed from an old typewriter(?), while Jake has gotten her nothing. Ryder gives his good friend a helping hand, giving a huge Cyrano-hand in preparing a sing-a-gram, getting flowers, and finally a necklace to top the whole thing off. And then they don’t have sex.
Santana and Quinn spend the entire episode opining on how they are the hottest bitches in the place, and then they have sex.
Blaine and Kurt make sexy eyes at each other, and then they have sex.
In case you couldn’t tell, the theme of this episode was, ‘Let’s have sex!’ There were several hilarious moments in this episode(angry!flower girl Becky was amazeballs), but just about everything else was topsy turvy. I mean seriously. Emma was so freaked out about her kiss with Finn she ran away? I realize the writers have been trying to show they are having issues or whatever, but with the sporadic treatment of it, I really didn’t know enough to even care, so Emma’s leaving felt unearned.
OH! And then, when Rachel gets back to New York, we find out Brody is whoring himself out or something, and Rachel may or may not be pregnant. Dun dun DUN!
“You’re All I Need to Get By” as sung by Jake and Marley
“(Not) Getting Married Today” as sung by Will, Mercedes, and Emma
“Just Can’t Get Enough” as sung by Blaine and Kurt
“We’ve Got Tonight”as sung by Finn and Rachel
“Anything Could Happen” as sung by Marley, Jake, and Artie, with backup by the rest